cliff, shag, marry

[such_heights]

Hey, new people! *waves*

Let us all get to know one another by playing one of my favourite games: Cliff, Shag, Marry. You know the drill. Explanation optional, picspam encouraged, feel free to answer whatever you want.
I'll start:

LADIES VERSION:



+ Cara Mason



+ Martha Jones



+ Kaylee Frye

GENTLEMEN VERSION:



+ Ianto Jones



+ Neal Caffrey



+ James Ellison

eta: pss, guys, come up with your own conundrums! amuse me when I should be sleeping! *g*

Comments

[chaila]

Sadly, I do not really know any of these people but James Ellison, but I AM SHAGGING AND MARRYING HIM BOTH AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME.

:D

Welcome back!

[such_heights]

Hahaha, that's an excellent choice.

Thank you! :D

[builtofsorrow]

...You are a cruel, cruel woman.

[pocky_slash]

This is actually super easy because I only know two of the three in each case \o/

~*LADIES*~
Cliff: Cara
Shag: Martha
Marry: Kaylee

And for the dudes, haha, mcwonthelottery and I just had the following conversation that sums it up:
Kait: So, the question is, do I fuck Ianto and marry Neal or marry Neal and fuck Ianto? Oh. Wait. That's the same thing, backwards.
Becca: I think your subconscious is trying to tell you something. Also, I feel like you and Ianto married for any length of time would become incredibly neurotic.
Kait: It's true. We both never talk about our feelings. It would get awkward and passive-aggressive.
Becca: Especially with you sneaking away to fuck Neal Caffrey all the time.

And then I wrote fanfic about my marriage to Ianto and affair with Neal out loud. As you do.

Um. Anyway. In summary:
~*DUDES*~
Cliff: James Ellison (I don't know who this is)
Shag: Ianto
Marry: Neal

[netgirl_y2k]

I am not new but I am playing anyway, and you can't stop me!

Shag: Cara, because, well, you would, wouldn't you?
Marry: Kaylee, she'd be a brilliant wife, and I bet she could fix things around the house.
Cliff: I'm so, so sorry Martha *shoves*

[monanotlisa]

Easy!

Cliff: Kaylee
Shag: Cara
Marry: Martha

Cliff: Ianto
Shag: Neal
Marry: Ellison

[isagel]

This is a cruel, cruel game, because it makes me have to cliff Ianto. And thus shag Neal and marry James Ellison. (I'm sorry, Ianto! My attachment to the other two is too strong!)

The girls are easier for me, because I don't know Cara. And I'm not that attached to Kaylee (still haven't seen all of Firefly), so I guess I will shag her. And then I will marry Martha Jones, and we will live happily ever after and have lots and lots of hot married sex. Yes.

And now I'm imagining the possibility of a polygamous marriage with both Ellison and Martha. Because who wouldn't want that?

[noldo]

I have no idea who Cara is! But I would totally shag Kaylee. And then marry Martha. In California. Because I can do that thing. Which is awesome.

Also hello, it is nice to meet you, stranger! I mean I have never spoken to you before what are you talking about.

Re. conundrums, there is always the triangle of maths, drugs, cardboard -- it was a meme hereabouts at one point, yes we are very stupid.

[fly_to_dawn]

Hello, you <3

Giving you the option to shag, marry, or cliff: Biology, Chemistry, Physics.

YES THAT MAKES SENSE IN MY HEAD THANKS FOR ASKING.

[firefly124]

I don't really know Cara, plus she looks like she'd find a way to survive the whole cliff thing, so off she goes. I think I'd want to marry Martha and thus I'd just shag Kaylee while she was on shore leave.

I don't know who Neal Caffrey *or* James Ellison are, but having to choose between them, I'd cliff Neal and shag James who is much hotter. I totally have to marry Ianto, though my total lack of organization would probably drive him spare.

Oh, and three for you? Ummm, how about Donna Noble, Kara Thrace, and Faith Lehane?

[such_heights]

It would be a terrible idea but I would absolutely marry Kara all the same, shag Donna, and then cliff Faith on account of how she is awesome but also terrifying.

[pocky_slash]

Okay, let's play this game!

~*LADIES*~


1. Amy Pond



2. Gwen Cooper



3. Diana Barrigan




~*DUDES*~


1. Ianto Jones



2. Ronon Dex



3. Rory Williams

[such_heights]

Meanie!

Okay, so I basically have to marry Amy so that we can both be Amy Ponds and travel through space and time together, yes, along with Mr Pond and Dr Pond. And then, um, oh god. Shag Diana, cliff Gwen, Gwen I'm sorry ilu!

In the second case, shag Ronon because seriously, and I refuse to cliff Ianto or Rory because that's far too traumatic either way. I WILL MARRY THEM BOTH OKAY.

[lunarwolfik]

Your versions are terribly difficult to choose between!! Cara vs Martha vs Kaylee? That's like trying to choose between apple pie and ice cream!

After MUCH DEBATE:
Marry: Martha because she is SO AWESOME IT HURTS.
Shag: Cara because it would be hawt. Especially with the red leather.
Cliff: Kaylee, but it makes me very sadface and afraid of Mal. Very Very afraid. Although, hopefully Serenity would be there to pick her up anyway and we could end up in a nice threesome instead.

For you:

-Amy Pond


-Parker


-Kara Thrace

[such_heights]

Oh jeez - cliff Parker on the grounds that she'll definitely get herself out of that mess! Shag Kara, marry Amy.

[spiderine]

Easy.

Ladies: While the first woman (Cara) is a knockout, I have no idea who she is, so Cliff. Shag Kaylee, because while she's adorable, loves sex and is a survivor, she is simply not half the badass that is Martha Jones. Martha, will you Marry me and fight by my side to save the planet again and again?

Gentlemen: Again, I have no idea who James Ellison is (I always thought James Ellison was the Sentinel!), so he gets Cliffed. Shag Neal Caffrey. Shag him silly. Ride him hard; put him away wet. But come on, he's one of the world's greatest fugitives, and he's not exactly going to stick around for the long haul. Ianto Jones, will you Marry me and clean up after me and make me coffee and fight by my side to save the planet again and again?

[musesfool]

I don't know Cara, though she's hot and wears a lot of leather, so cliff her, shag Martha, marry Kaylee!

And cliff Ianto, shag Neal, marry Ellison.

for you:

Mai, Azula, Toph

[such_heights]

Azula is awesome but also, you know, SCARY AS HELL, so I cliff her out of fear, shag Mai because I suspect that would be hilarious, and marry Toph. <3

[chagrined]

Cliff Cara (I don't know that character), shag Kaylee, marry Martha. B/c Martha is the BEST and she is great at everything.

The guys are harder b/c I do actually know all the characters. BUT although I love James Ellison, I never had any desire to do him so it is not that hard of a choice there. So sorry James, you get cliffed. Thennnnn actually I don't want to have sex with Ianto either. Ugh actually now I am reconsidering this whole thing. WELL. OKAY, HOW ABOUT THIS. James and I have an understanding wherein our marriage does not involve sex. (Yes, above I definitely assumed my marriage with Martha would also involve sex, haha.) So I will shag Neal, cliff Ianto (EVERYONE IS ALWAYS KILLING IANTO), and marry Ellison, b/c I feel he would be the best ~life partner~ of the three.

[bop_radar]

Ah, good, you conveniently included boring people so I could cliff 'em. :p *ducks your punch*

Chickies: Cliff Kaylee (sweet, but yaaaaawn), shag Cara, marry Martha.
Boy peoples: cliff Ianto (sweet, but double yaaaaaaaaaawn), shag Neal, marry Ellison.

*spend the rest of my life fighting off chaila43 for Ellison*

Damn it, maybe I should just marry Neal. :p

[mresundance]

That's ok, I can catch Kaylee as she falls and MARRY HER.

WHY YOU SO MEAN TO MY KAYLEE.

[miarrow]

Cara is the answer to all three. She just is.

Also James Ellison. HE JUST IS.

[contrarywise]

Bwa! Since I had no clue who James Ellison is, I did a quick Google search. And the first image that Google delivered for a man of that name is http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:Zm1xppzRhI4OlM: (not particularly SFW).

In answer to your actual question(s), I'm with my intrepid Arachnid 100%!

[mresundance]

This is TOO HARD.

Ladies version:

Marry: Kaylee! \o/
Shag: Cara and Martha.
Throw off a Cliff: :P I CHEATED.

Gentlemen:
Marry: Ianto
Shag: Neal Caffrey (YES PLZ KNTHX).
Throw off a Cliff: James Ellison. But that's only cuz I don't know him at all. SORRY DUDE.

[(Anonymous)]

Hmm well I dont really know these people either, except for the guy from white collar. He's hot so I'd shag him for sure.

[iambickilometer]

Ladies version: Cliff Cara, as I don't know who she is (sorry! I'm sure you're a lovely person, Cara!), marry Kaylee, shag Martha. In this case it's mostly because Martha and I are completely mentally incompatible and would either argue all the time or just stew in our resentment and be miserable. However, she is a fine specimen of humanity and the sex, I'm sure, would be bangin'. Whereas Kaylee would drag me out of my comfort zone and be functional at me until I started catching on.

Dudefolk version: Cliff Ellison (again, nothing personal, I just don't know who he is and that facial hair is not doing it for me), shag Ianto, marry Neal. Ianto and I are too similar in how we go about having relationships, and that would end in Problems. Plus then I'd be married into Torchwood, and talk about dysfuntional. Whereas I would be totally cool with Neal coming and going and being polyamorous with his boss and boss' wife. Also it would mean that I would potentially have access to the Burkes, so HELL YES to that. Also possibly Alex. Because I mean, damn. That is a really good group to marry into. :D

[secondsilk]

I will marry James Ellison, even though I don't know who he is.
Shag Neal Caffrey. Or watch him paint something. Same diff.
Sorry, Ianto.

Shag Kaylee, because she's good and it'll be fun.
Marry Martha (and, ah, keep house for her while she's off saving the world).
Throw Cara off a cliff (not because I don't know who she is).

For you:
Lily Evans, Luna Lovegood, Hermione Granger.

[sheafrotherdon]

Ohhhh, the man one is hard! I mean, I'd push Ianto off a cliff, no problem. But I'm drawn to the hopeless romantic in Neal Caffrey, while also wondering if I want to sign on to a life of crime. Ellison is so upstanding and HOT, and yet living under the constant threat of apocalypse. I'm thinking that's gotta do a number on your relationship.

So basically Caffrey and Ellison get to play rock paper scissors over who gets to marry me. Or perhaps they're bi and we can all enter into conjugal bliss :D

[miss_haitch]

Marry Martha, shag Cara! (I don't know Legend of the Seeker, but OMG LEATHER)
Marry James, shag Neal!

[miss_haitch]

Ooh, and! My conundrum is Aeryn Sun, Starbuck and Zoe from Firefly.

[copracat]

I can't play this game. I mean, who would cliff ANY of them?

[beck_liz]

This. Occasionally the "cliff" decision is easy, but for this one? Not so much.

[beck_liz]

The ladies' one is actually harder than the gentleman's one. Um.

Ladies
Cliff: Cara
Shag: Martha
Marry: Kaylee

I couldn't decide whether to shag or cliff Cara and vice versa for Martha. Can't I have both in the shag category?

Gentlemen
Cliff: Ianto
Shag: Neal
Marry: James

[fallingtowers]

Ladies:

I'll cliff Cara (sorry, Cara, but your sex life would be too kinky for me to shag you and I doubt you'd make a good spouse), shag Martha (before she goes back to Tom Or Mickey), and marry Kaylee. She'd cheer me right up, and we could do fun stuff with strawberries together. :)

Gentlemen:

I'll cliff Ianto, shag Neal (whom I don't even know, but I like dudes with random hats) and marry James Ellison. Obviously.

So, who's game for these?

Éowyn



Kara Thrace



Aeryn Sun



OR

Richard Cypher



The Eleventh Doctor



Peter Parker

[apatheia_jane]

That's about the easiest one I've ever seen (for me). I'd marry the Dr, so I can have adventures, I shag Richard coz he's pretty, & I'd cliff Peter Parker and enjoy it.

The girls are less easy - cliff Starbuck coz she'd just come back, and then I can watch her shag Aeryn. Which I guess leaves me married to Eowyn. I hope we can share Faramir too.