such_heights | (no subject)

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Things are going really well with my current therapist. I'm making some real progress in understanding how I operate and why I struggle with certain things the way I do.

Peeling through layers of mental debris is raising lots of questions, and one I keep thinking about is who I really am, who could I be without quite so much baggage from mental illness and general sadness?

I'm not sure. I'm still figuring it out. But one thing has struck me, something that has frankly shaken my sense of self to its very core! (I kid. Sort of.) All this time, I thought I knew something about myself, but I think I was dead wrong.

I think I might be an extrovert.

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Heeeee! XD

I came to the same conclusion a few years ago. After moving here and finding a big group of friends who I actually wanted to spend time with and learning more about what introvert/extrovert really means, I discovered that I AM an extrovert, my social anxiety and shyness just keep me from easily chatting people up/etc. But I'd rather be with people than totally alone! And when I'm sad/tired/frustrated, being around people makes me feel better! And I work out my ideas/thoughts better by talking them through then by thinking them over in my head! etc, etc.

WELCOME TO THE FOLD! Please join us in laughing at how tumblr thinks all of us forcibly remove introverts from their homes and force them to go to loud uncomfortable parties against their will!

That all rings very true! Extra especially the talking things through point, I do so much processing externally rather than internally. And ha, yes, obviously we are all superficial and inconsiderate party animals.

I identify so strongly with this - I'd be much more obviously an extrovert if it weren't for all the times that social anxieties cause me to stay home / stay quiet / leave parties without saying goodbye... (sorry,

such_heights...)

I don't think it's an accident that lots of people like this have collected in online communities?

Oh that's okay, don't worry about it all! It was just lovely to see you. <3

Wat.

:o I've been living a lie!

:)

I never doubted it. M.

It had honestly had never even occurred to me until this week! The journey of self-discovery continues.

Aww, welcome to the extrovert club! We have snacks! And yes, I agree with the top commenter who invited you to join us in shaking our leetle heads at all the introverts who think we are cruel evil energy vampires.

My husband and my mother, both of whom are excessive introverts, would laugh so, so hard at that idea. I firmly believe that introverts and extroverts (and all the spectrum in-between) end up with a symbiotic and balanced relationship more than the contest of evil extrovert energy vampires versus poor, gentle, solitary introverts.

My experience is that one can get caught as the lone (or one of a couple) introvert in a microculture that has decided that only x amount of introvert-type-behaviour is Allowed, anything else is pathological/selfish/possibly even deliberately immoral, and will not be convinced otherwise.

And if you're stuck living in that (especially if you're in your late teens and rather easily made dramatic anyway), it really can feel like they're all out to get you. Which, people being what they are, leads to the kind of ridiculousness one sees on tumblr: I tend to assume that those stupid infographs are, by and large, what the maker (and most of the people endorsing) would REALLY like to be able to say to relatives with whom they have unhealthy relationships to start with.

Yay, hello!

Hello!

I have gone the other way 'round; I thought forever that I was an extrovert (because I NEED good people to feel safe, to recharge, to bounce ideas and thoughts off) but turns out I have many introvert qualities too (I find it grating to spend even a second with people not in the good category, I need space and quietude, I sort through my own feelings alone).

Ultimately, I'm probably in the middle of the spectrum...but boy, some of these realizations take time. :)

That's really interesting! Thinking of it as more of a spectrum has definitely been helpful for me. I get very anxious in crowds and I'm not always great with new people, but I do like to talk through my thoughts and feelings with other people, and love hosting events for my friends.

Hee! It.would be weird to suddenly realise you were quite different from your assumptions. I used to think I was very much an introvert, but Myers Briggs tests always place me borderline between the two (like 46%-54%, depending on when I did the test) so I think both forms of recharging is good for me.

Yeah, absolutely. Too much social time or too much solo time and I'm not a happy camper.

I am an extrovert who takes six months to a year to feel comfortable in new groups, hates parties and making small talk (so much), and loves people, socializing, and talking about everything and anything, but not with everyone around.

I used to think I was just an introvert. But as it turns out, I was just exhibiting the normal kind of reserve that happens when you don't normally easily integrate into groups and also get bulled through half of grade school and all of junior high. Who knew?

ETA: In other words, I totally understand. It's a weird feeling, realizing your self-image might be off, isn't it?

Edited 2015-06-24 13:26 (UTC)

I used to think I was just an introvert. But as it turns out, I was just exhibiting the normal kind of reserve that happens when you don't normally easily integrate into groups and also get bulled through half of grade school and all of junior high. Who knew?

... ah, yes, that is a feeling I know extremely well! It's very nice to hear it's not just me.

Therapy going well sounds like a good thing! :)

This is a good thing to know! (I have always kind of felt that being a socially anxious/shy extrovert must be just about the least pleasant thing ever.)

haha, I'm glad Kait already commented, because we have had multiple very loud conversations about being extroverted while also dealing with anxiety/social anxiety/shyness/depression and about Tumblr's utterly ridiculous exaggerations.

And that question of "who am I without [____]" is a really weird thing to consider, isn't it? So many turning points!

Welcome! I, too, remember fondly the day I finally figured out that I was, in fact, an extrovert, but had just been socialized incredibly poorly.

The funny thing is, I've always automatically pegged you for an extrovert for a few of the reasons I peg us as quite similar. ;D I'm glad therapy is going well though, and you're figuring some stuff out. <3

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