my squee has been harshed

[such_heights]

I have been very happy on the Internet this week! There has been a lot of amazing stuff everywhere. But then I made the mistake of going onto Facebook. I know, I know.

So, some backstory: lots of British unis, including the one I attend, have 'Overheard at...' pages, you know the drill. People overhear amusing things, write them down.

Going through the pages of comments is really quite something. I am depressed by but not surprised at the amount of misogyny, classism, racism, homophobia and general bigotry that pervades the 'humour'. I do hear those comments myself, after all. I tend to walk away rather than write them down for posterity, but there you go. I am dismayed by the amount of praising comments they've received, especially as some have proved controversial - namely, whether or not it's acceptable to describe someone as a geek. Way to go for the big problem there, guys.

But, I then went from not having the energy to be offended to being almost shocked. You think I'd know better by now, but it continues to really horrify me how readily people 'joke' about rape. Here, have some examples:

trigger warning

All of these were posted within a 24 hour sample, reproduced as found.

"I think we should go to [university club night] this week"
"Why?"
"You get free chocolate"
"Why?"
"Cos it's choculation or something..."
"Mate they could call it rapeulation and it still wouldnt sell it to me"

-

Boy1:mate did you see those two girls
Boy2:yes bruv, there the type of girls that are so fit, i'd rape them, and not even feel bad about it

-

"I don't need facebook to rape you"

-

guy1: "Ah i dunno mate, she's a bit weird.. that girl just LOVES rape!"
guy2: "...who doesn't?"

-

'...maybe if you rape her she'll get the message?'

eta: more the next day:

Flatmate 1: Oh my god, why is has someone put the door on the latch again? Some random girl just walked into the flat yesterday at like 1 in the morning.

Flatmate 2: Awhh mate, did you rape her?

-

"Give me £3 or I will rape you"

eta again: using this page as an ongoing record.

'i am so going to rape you when we get back to the flat'

-

"You know what they say....rape someone, have a coffee!!"

-

A clearly drunk lad stood in a packed bar one talking far too loudly
Guy 1: "I might take up rape"
Guy 2: "WHAT?!"
Guy 1: "Yeh ive been thinking, it's worth it as long as you get 4 or 5 good'uns before you get caught"

-

"I so would rape Cheryl Cole."

It's not like seeing something horrifying on the internet, these are comments from my peers, from the people who represent me, who attend my lectures, who live next door to me, who go to my social events. And that is what they think about women, that we are objects or possessions. And considering the things that have happened to me and other women that I know, both on campus and in the surrounding area, reading the above makes me feel actively threatened and unsafe.

But, Amy, it's just a joke - lighten up - why do you have to take things so seriously all the time - you're just overemotional you're overreacting nobody means it.

Yeah. Okay. Nobody means it, until they do. Then it's really not so fucking funny.

Comments

[secondsilk]

OMG. *is ill*

There was an article about how humour is more thought forming than serious stuff. That racist humour makes people more racist than racist rhetoric does.

[phaetonschariot.livejournal.com]

On one of my rabbit lists someone recently posted about a radio station in Boston that gives prizes for the two funniest "police blotter" stories. A week or two ago, one of the winners was about a man who sexually assaulted a rabbit. The DJ joked about it (I don't know his exact words - the audio was provided, but I had no desire to listen to it, and I believe it's been taken off the radio's website now). In my letter to the station I was trying to explain how, when you joke about something, it's saying that it's okay not to be horrified. Humour is something light-hearted, it's coded as "this isn't serious". You don't (usually) joke about something that affects you so deeply - and when you do, it has the effect of seeming to take some of the awfulness out of it, at least temporarily. But the thing is, you're the only one who knows that you take it seriously enough to joke about. To everyone else, you're just joking, because that's what's behind almost all jokes.

[such_heights]

That is not surprising at all. D: