a thought re. Amy in this week's episode

[such_heights]

So one thing I thought was interesting about Amy in tonight's episode was what her hallucinations suggested about her feelings re. Rory. Working on the assumption that House was able to pick up something of her psychology in order to create effective mindgames -- as suggested by fake!old!Rory referencing his time as a Centurion etc -- it says something that is really fitting and really sad.

For once, Amy isn't just afraid of being left, but of leaving someone else. She's afraid that Rory resents her after the superhuman thing he did for her, living through 2000 years to protect her. She's afraid that he could grow to hate her for putting him through that and for generally dragging him into this dangerous world, and she's afraid she's going to get him killed -- with good reason, considering the amount of deaths he's had already, heh.

OH, AMY. ALL OF THE HUGS FOR YOU. :(

Comments

[pocky_slash]

Oh man, I said the same exact thing to my hosts while we were watching. I was like, "Oh man, the House has clearly tapped into her worst nightmares."

I feel like, at this point, Amy's really not afraid of being left. She's been left a few times, now, and she's always managed to survive. But leaving Rory--I'd imagine that eats at her all the time, that he's done all this for her, that he's always doing it for her and she thinks he doesn't have anything that monumental to offer in exchange, that he's going to realize it's not worth it and get resentful.

I might be projecting a little bit. ::shifty eyes:: But I think that's all legit.

[such_heights]

Yeah, it's all so understandable and also really heartbreaking - they both don't think they're good enough for each other, in different ways. Amy doesn't think she deserves him, Rory doesn't think he can ever measure up to the Doctor. OH PONDS. I am glad that most of the time they are just adorable and cling to each other.

[rhivolution]

I'm really hoping they deal with this--I think you're onto something and it's so sad but quite necessary for the characters.

This puts the 'everyone wants to be forgiven' moment into an interesting perspective.

[kouredios]

And the way Amy agrees immediately, after the Doctor says that. Yes.

[such_heights]

It does, doesn't it? AMYYYYYY.

[gorgeousnerd]

Wow, I didn't even think about that. (I was too busy chuckling that they killed Rory in another way this week.) Poor Amy. :(

[such_heights]

I know. :( POOR GIRL. ALL THE HUGS.

[nekare]

That's such a tragic yet fitting thing for Amy. And in a way she's sort of right about being afraid, that with the times Rory has died now. Also, I think it sort of scares her, just how much he loves her - he watied 2000 years for her, that's the kind of love that would go to the end of hell to save her, everything be damned. And then she keeps on getting him in harm's way, which of course is bullshit because he chose to go, but Amy probably doesn't get it exactly. THESE KIDS. SO MESSED UP. ♥

Also, DOCTOR/TARDIS WILL FOREVER AND EVER BE CANON AND IT IS BEAUTIFUL.

[aoftheis]

Also, I think it sort of scares her, just how much he loves her - he watied 2000 years for her, that's the kind of love that would go to the end of hell to save her, everything be damned.

YES. THIS. This kind of love is so pure and utterly beautiful, and I love Rory for it, but it's actually -- for Amy, who's never been a careful person, it must be a terrifying burden. *hugs them all*

[such_heights]

Yeah, I think it's a bit overwhelming if she thinks about it too much - to have someone that good love you so much in spite of or even because of everything. a;ldkja and MEANWHILE Rory is all 'woe, I can't measure up to the Doctor'. *smooshes them together*

DOCTOR/TARDIS OTP FOREVER AND EVER AMEN. <3

[aoftheis]

asdflkasdf;ljk this was what I thought too, and it's devastating. I really like that Who's been darker lately, exploring the consequences and implications and running around and time-traveling. There was that disturbing psychology in "Amy's Choice," which shows us a side of the Doctor I'm really not even willing to deal with yet, and Rory's various "deaths;" most of the main cast is carrying around massive guilt at this point, and it's made for really fascinating character interplay.

[such_heights]

most of the main cast is carrying around massive guilt at this point, and it's made for really fascinating character interplay.

Definitely. River too, probably. THEY ALL NEED SO MANY HUGS WITH EACH OTHER. That is one thing that I love about Who at the moment - it's not afraid to go a bit darker, which I agree is fascinating, but also there are always hugs. <3

[aoftheis]

Yes! One thing I really hate about lazily-written angst is that it always seems to drive people apart, act as an excuse for stupid, irrational decisions. What I like about this season is that it's bringing Rory and Amy and River closer together, which is a breath of fresh air. HUGS. ♥

[such_heights]

Yes, definitely! The way the three of them have bonded over what they know about the Doctor is sad but wonderful. <3333

[kouredios]

This sparked in my head the reminder that at the end of TDW, Rory seemed (to me, at least), to be starting to get ready to leave the Tardis. When he starts talking about watching the Tardis's flesh body dying, and how he's a nurse, and he's supposed to help...The Doctor smoothes that over, but I think the moment's still there. I think Rory's going to announce he's had enough, soon.

What's Amy's choice going to be now?

[such_heights]

Oh no. I see your point, but you'll forgive me if I really hope you're wrong!

[kouredios]

I hope I am too!

[snorkackcatcher]

Yeah, there's been a bit of a ... well, Ron Weasley vibe about Rory on occasion since the end of S1, so that's horribly possible actually. Or just a Tegan vibe maybe? (In fact even worse, I was wondering if he might end up with a Turlough vibe, but that would be too horrible.)

[recessional]

I think, even more than being afraid he will hate her, she's afraid that he should hate her. What the hell does she give him that's worth that devotion? I mean, obviously, he's just such a perfect, good person that he can do that, but what's she giving to this? (What if his baby has a Time Head? Another thing she fails at!)

I mean, projection time ahoy, but hell I'd be having some internal flail there, even if I knew the person would never actually hate me (or let me know that), but the guilt of knowing that they SHOULD.

. . . which is mildly hilarious, in a facepalmy way, because you wind up with BOTH OF THEM CONVINCED THEY DON'T DESERVE THE OTHER. Oh babies.

[such_heights]

Yes, exactly. KIDS. HUG IT OUT, OMG.

... I may have to write another Amy/Rory h/c episode tag on this subject. WHAT HAS MY LIFE BECOME.

[recessional]

WHAT HAS MY LIFE BECOME.

Full of wonderful Ponds?

(Also, the answer to Amy's question is: you loved him so much that a psychic print of your bedroom in a universe where HE DOESN'T EXIST ANYMORE resulted in you pulling his soul back into an available body. YOU DORK.)

[such_heights]

a;ldskja feeeeelings. Because when you put it like that, well, yes. PONDS. <3

[monanotlisa]

She's afraid that he could grow to hate her for putting him through that and for generally dragging him into this dangerous world, and she's afraid she's going to get him killed -- with good reason, considering the amount of deaths he's had already, heh.

Seriously. Then again, he's always chosen to follow (into the unknown, into danger that's always more pronounced for the character used to evoke emotions in another, here: Amy).

[such_heights]

Right, exactly. OH PONDS. <3333

[kaffy_r]

I think you got into Amy's head quite as well as House did. And Gaiman's exploration of her fear makes her that much more heartbreakingly real to me.

[such_heights]

I find Amy's mental makeup totally fascinating, and this was a great - if really sad - additional insight.

[ashpags]

I...didn't even realize that, but you're so right. Awww The Ponds! HUGS for both of them!

[such_heights]

ALL THE HUGS. ALL THE TIME.