such_heights | who ficlets, part one

ignipes wanted Five Places the Doctor Suggested for Honeymoon Destinations that Didn't Quite Work Out as Planned.

Amy/Rory, PG-13, 500 words, no content notes

1.

"So, how was Paris?" the Doctor asks. "Paris, lovely place, one of the most romantic spots in the universe."

Rory glares balefully at him. Amy wipes orange gloop off her face.

"Oh yes, terribly romantic," she says, "I particularly liked the part where we had to fight off swamp monsters."

"What? No, I landed you at least a decade before that!"

"You didn't. You really, really didn't."

2.

"Right," says Rory as they reached the top of the mountain. "Secluded monastic retreat, hot springs, lovely."

"Ah!" A host comes forward to meet them. "You must be our newlywed guests. Do come in, the welcoming orgy will be starting in just a few minutes. Please wipe your feet and do help yourselves to some protection from the counter."

"Um." Rory looks pole-axed. "That got lost in translation, right?"

Amy leans to the side and peers through one of the open windows. Her eyes widen. "No, I don't think so!"

"The Doctor is probably still around, we can just head back."

"You know, I'm good. Seems a little rude, really."

Rory thinks about that for a moment. "True. And I suppose, the Doctor doesn't have to know."

Amy beams at him, mimes zipping her lips, and looks meaningfully at the door.

3.

"I thought this was supposed to be the perfect place for leisurely walks!" Rory pants in an outraged sort of way as they run from the hoard of terrifying soldiers with pointy, pointy spears.

"The Doctor screws up sometimes!" Amy puts on a burst of speed.

"That's what I've been trying to say!" Rory chances a look back over his shoulder, yelps a bit, and grabs Amy's hand.

4.

"Aha!" the Doctor claps his hands as the TARDIS lands. "Right then, you two. Outside is the most beautiful forest, where waterfalls spray silver mist, flowers that sing, and birds that will try to engage you in philosophical debate if you let them get a word in edgeways."

Amy beams and runs to fling open the doors.

"Hello, sweetie," says River. "Is the Doctor in? We've got trouble."

5.

It's been raining for three days straight. Amy sighs, a little bored as she leans against Rory. They've played three ferocious Scrabble tournaments and had some truly excellent sex, but outside is the most amazing beach that she's ever seen.

Rory makes a thoughtful noise. "You know what? Screw it."

"Hmm?"

"Let's go outside anyway."

They grab towels and sprint outside to the beach. It's pouring down, a warm torrent of rain. Amy's soaked in seconds and she doesn't care because god, they haven't done this since they were kids.

She spins round in wild circles until she tumbles into Rory, and he holds her up and kisses her and kisses her, and maybe the Doctor didn't get this one wrong after all.

---

And this is a random bit of fluff I wrote the other day about Eleven, Amy, Rory and a kitten. 330 words, G, no content notes.

---

Doctor?" Rory said, as they walked back into the TARDIS.

"Mm?"

"You do know there's a cat attached to you?"

"What?" The Doctor peered over his shoulder and, sure enough, a small, fluffy cat with lilac fur and big blue eyes was clinging with some determination to the back of his jacket. "Oh!"

He walked over to the TARDIS console, where a soft, small platform shot up obligingly. He shrugged off his jacket and gently plucked the kitten off the tweed and deposited it, a few quiet scans running in the background.

Amy and Rory crowded beside him with the matching googly-eyed expressions that humans always got around small and fluffy animals.

"Now, don't get excited," he warns them both, "we probably can't keep her."

"How do you know it's a girl?" Rory asked.

The Doctor tried to hide the printout that the TARDIS was providing for him, but Amy was too quick, and she snatched up the sheet, skimming it quickly. "According to this, the makats of the planet Loga are tame animals that are not traditionally domesticated. Instead they are valued for their beauty in the wild. However, they make excellent pets and respond well to humanoid companionship. The males are a bright pink whilst the females are a lighter purple shade. Next section: Care and Feeding of the makat --"

"Yes, yes, all right," the Doctor said.

"So we can keep her?" Amy's smile was wide and guileless and completely evil.

"Well, I suppose --"

The words had barely left the Doctor's mouth before Amy scooped the kitten off the console and cradled her in her arms. "Oh, you're so soft, aren't you?" she cooed. "We're going to find the perfect spot for you, aren't we?"

Rory leaned over and stroked her head. The kitten yawned in response. "Aw, she's tired! Let's go find her some blankets from our room." They wandered off, their voices a happy murmur filled with 'oohs' and 'ahhs'.

The Doctor sighed. Humans! But he was smiling, too.

who ficlets, part one

no subject

no subject