such_heights: amy and rory looking at a pile of post (Default)
Amy ([personal profile] such_heights) wrote2008-12-15 03:22 am

FIC: The Breath Before Our New Beginning [Merlin]

The Breath Before Our New Beginning
Merlin ; Merlin/Arthur ; PG ; 800 words ; coda to 1x13
Magic thunders in his veins now, not like the ripples and aftershocks he's used to, the feeling of potential.



The rain is pouring down, and it's because Merlin tore the sky apart. Magic thunders in his veins now, not like the ripples and aftershocks he's used to, the feeling of potential. The old ways lie blasted on the ground because of him.

This is only the beginning, Morgana had said.

"Merlin?" Gaius sounds shaky beside him; weak.

Merlin wonders if it would take just one touch of his fingers to bring out youth in the old man again. He smiles. "Come on. Let's go home."

He easily outstrips Gaius on the way back, and it feels like he's riding on the wind. When Camelot gleams in the distance, it's the jewel he remembers from when he first arrived. Now it's home, and it's his, and he presses forward faster still.

---

His mother is sitting up in bed, her skin clear and her smile warm. He rushes to kneel beside her.

"You see? I said you'd be all right."

She strokes his cheek, searching his face in wonder. "What did you do?"

He has beaten back the breath of dragons, and he has decided who shall live and who shall die.

"I saved you," he tells her. "And I always will."

---

There was fire in his chest and now he burns with it. He is of the old religion but not consumed with it, born with a destiny but not controlled by it. He has slain the Questing Beast, defeated a high priestess, and taken back the lives they stole away from him. There's nothing beyond his grasp, nothing he cannot have, and he understands that now. He can feel magic enough within him to tear Camelot down to the earth if he so wished.

He wonders if others can see it as he rides through the castle, if there's strange light emanating from him or if there are spells trailing in his wake. He knows he needs to calm himself, he needs to reign in this newfound power before it burns through his head and his heart.

Instead, he's running to Arthur's chambers.

---

Arthur's at the window when he enters. He turns, raises an eyebrow at Merlin's unexpected appearance.

"What is it you want this time?" Arthur asks.

Momentum has carried Merlin this far. He has destroyed ancient sorcerers and rewritten the balance of nature. There is nothing that is beyond him, and Arthur cannot refuse him anything, not now, not today. He reaches out, lays one hand where Arthur is still injured, and he feels the spell damage that's still causing Arthur pain. He realises it would only take one touch, one thought, to heal his wounds.

Merlin sees the scene play out in his mind, and this is how it goes. He draws his hand away, and Arthur looks up, mended and surprised, and that's it, no more secrets now. The revelation's overwhelming, but it's right. Arthur understands, reaches out a hand to trace the line of Merlin's face with new comprehension, and everything falls into place.

"Merlin?"

The vision fades.

"Merlin? Good god, man, you're shaking."

Arthur's gripping his shoulders, peering into his face, and all the manic energy and the elation dissipates. It's almost all Merlin can do just to stay upright.

"Come on, what is this? Last time I checked it was still my turn to be sick."

"Oh, you know me, I'm useless," Merlin murmurs in reply.

"Should I get Gaius? I should get Gaius."

"No, don't bother, I'm -- I'm all right." I used magic to murder someone because you nearly died, and it's my destiny to give my whole life to you, and there are so very many things I'll have to tell you sooner or later. His knees give out from under him and Arthur has to prop him up against the wall, hand not leaving Merlin's shoulder.

"What on earth am I to do with you?" Arthur asks.

Merlin laughs. "I'm sure you'll think of something."

"Yeah, what is it you said earlier? I'm stuck with you for life?"

"Aren't you the lucky one."

"Apparently." Arthur's fingers curl round the back of Merlin's neck, surprisingly gentle. "You're clearly not fine, you know."

"No, no I am, I just -- I just need a moment." Merlin grabs Arthur at the elbow, fingers twisting into the loose fabric of his shirt.

He and Arthur, they are not yet the men they will become, and that's all right. Merlin can do anything, and he will do everything, but not right now, not today. His eyes fall shut, and Arthur doesn't move. Merlin breathes, slow and deep, for the first time since Arthur was hurt. The momentum leaves him, his new magic fading away into the background where it belongs, and he feels himself again.

.

[livejournal.com profile] winkingstar has recorded podfic for this story!

[identity profile] mirasymphony.livejournal.com 2008-12-15 03:43 am (UTC)(link)
This is just wonderful.
I'm no good at constructive feedback, sorry, but I just had to tell you how it made my breath catch and was just perfect.

[identity profile] nozomi-no-da.livejournal.com 2008-12-15 04:06 am (UTC)(link)
This is the best coda to the finale I've read yet. ♥

[identity profile] missdewey.livejournal.com 2008-12-15 04:33 am (UTC)(link)
This was amazing, seriously. ♥

[identity profile] antihysteric.livejournal.com 2008-12-15 04:50 am (UTC)(link)
I love this. Because yeah, I think it'd be not a little heady, not a little jarring, to realise the extent of your power in one fell swoop, and I think Merlin would react just like this, all terrifyingly frantic and fierce. And, of course, it's lovely to see him feeling grounded again at the end. ♥

[identity profile] aeroport_art.livejournal.com 2008-12-15 04:50 am (UTC)(link)
Oh wow, this is lovely. It's the perfect coda to 1x13! I love how you describe the boys, brimming with potential (especially in the last paragraph), and I love how Merlin is positively thrumming with magic. It's such a cool take on the birth of all his new powers that happened this episode. Hope you don't mind terribly when I rec on my journal :D
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[identity profile] kageygirl.livejournal.com 2008-12-15 04:56 am (UTC)(link)
Oh my god, this is completely gorgeous. So poetic and perfect, all the way through.

[identity profile] moonbeamsfanfic.livejournal.com 2008-12-15 05:00 am (UTC)(link)
Yay, more fic to keep me entertained until the inevitable gay magic reveal! You're doing a marvelous job keeping me well pleased today, aren't you? For which I am very greatful, thank you! ;P

And the fic itself was gorgeous, btw. Sweet and tender and as [livejournal.com profile] nozomi_no_da said, the best coda to the finale yet. ::two thumps up::

the breath before ...

[identity profile] laceymcbain.livejournal.com 2008-12-15 05:17 am (UTC)(link)
I love the sense of strength and power that comes with Merlin's magic, and then the utter weakness of it, too, as Arthur helps to balance him. I do think that's the interpretation I like of the two of them the best - not that Merlin is there to ensure Arthur's success, but rather that they balance one another, keep one another from being power mad and insatiable.

[identity profile] ras-elased.livejournal.com 2008-12-15 05:34 am (UTC)(link)
God, you have no idea what you've done to me with this fic. This was exactly what I've been needing since I watched the ending of that ep. I've been dying for someone to deal with the fallout as beautifully as this, so thank you. \o/
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[identity profile] giandujakiss.livejournal.com 2008-12-15 05:53 am (UTC)(link)
Oh this is wonderful - such a great little arc and resolution. "Merlin wonders if it would take just one touch of his fingers to bring out youth in the old man again." - gave me chills.

[identity profile] nekare.livejournal.com 2008-12-15 05:53 am (UTC)(link)
;alksjfdlksjdf, so good! I JUST finished watching the ep and this fits the ending so well and, um, I have a thing for inherently-magical!Merlin and you made it sound so epic and fantastic and then the ending was lovely.

So, in all: YESSSSS.

[identity profile] lalaithlockhart.livejournal.com 2008-12-15 05:59 am (UTC)(link)
Gorgeous. I was trying to write a fic like this, but you did it oh so better. :-) Really interesting and awesome and really catching the mood in the episode - Merlin did show some crazy power and that would be terrifying.

[identity profile] finkpishnets.livejournal.com 2008-12-15 10:11 am (UTC)(link)
YOU WROTE MERLIN FIC. ♥

Seriously awesome my dear, but that's to be expected.

There's nothing beyond his grasp, nothing he cannot have, and he understands that now. That scared me a little because it would be so easy for Merlin to be seduced by a power that could destroy everyone, but I love how one brief conversation with Arthur is enough to bring him back to himself.

Absolutely gorgeous.

[identity profile] graspthethorn.livejournal.com 2008-12-15 11:03 am (UTC)(link)
Oh my gosh. This makes me love you. Like, you know, properly love you and worship the very ground you walk on.

Merlin tore the sky apart and riding on the wind and Hunith being saved (hooray!)and beaten back the breath of dragons and Arthur gripping his shoulders and Merlin almost collapsing and Arthur rescuing him and FINGERS ON HIS NAPE ♥ and Merlin's fingers in Arthur's shirt and he feels himself again and omg, I LOVED IT ALL.

This is/was fabulous. I'm meming if that's okay, yes? :D
*loves it* -x-

[identity profile] thesoulwithin.livejournal.com 2008-12-15 11:08 am (UTC)(link)
GENFIC! Dear God, this is the first time I've read genfic/non-crackfic from this fandom.
And it's wonderfully perfect.

[identity profile] lorannah.livejournal.com 2008-12-15 11:15 am (UTC)(link)
I LOVE YOU FOREVER AND EVER! That is all.

Ok, that is not all.

Because this is perfect. I love the language you use to describe the magic and the things Merlin has done. But what really breaks my heart is the moment when it suddenly slips back to reality and normalacy. It just really caught at me.

:D

[identity profile] talipuu.livejournal.com 2008-12-15 12:42 pm (UTC)(link)
This is SO good; very powerful and true to the characters. I love the poetic descriptions, they just bring it to life.
Wonderful, I can't resist adding to memories! ♥
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[identity profile] sunnyrea.livejournal.com 2008-12-15 12:51 pm (UTC)(link)
OMG ONLY ON EPISODE 3, WAAAAAAAIIIIIIIT! *reads it anyhow*

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[identity profile] jade-dragoness.livejournal.com 2008-12-15 01:33 pm (UTC)(link)
This works so perfectly with the end that epiosde. *pleased*

[identity profile] moogle62.livejournal.com 2008-12-15 02:28 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, this was really really lovely. Your gentle Arthur was gorgeous, and I liked the sense of, idk, urgency in the fic: I thought you captured the tumult in Merlin really well.

How many times can I say really: a lot.

[identity profile] hils.livejournal.com 2008-12-15 03:14 pm (UTC)(link)
Awww! That was wonderful. I loved it!

[identity profile] flamestone.livejournal.com 2008-12-15 03:30 pm (UTC)(link)
Beautiful :)

I'd leave more useful feedback, but you've left me speechless :P

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[identity profile] little-giddy.livejournal.com 2008-12-15 03:37 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh my God. That was ... incredible. Just the right length, as well. And your characterisation of Merlin high on power and heading for a fall was stunning.

[identity profile] special-schizo.livejournal.com 2008-12-15 05:40 pm (UTC)(link)
Fantastic ending to the ep. The descriptions of Merlin's magic kinda bubbling out of control were my personal favourite bits, but also loved that image at the end, with Merlin sort of coming back to himself. Oh dear, there goes my articulate-ness. Evidently. #winces#
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[identity profile] hollydoodle19.livejournal.com 2008-12-15 05:51 pm (UTC)(link)
the perfect coda. seriously beautiful and just right. I loves how you showed not just the men they would become, but the men they would be together, the relationship that we know is in store for them :)

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