Amy (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
such_heights) wrote2006-04-06 03:22 pm
such_heights) wrote2006-04-06 03:22 pm
Wellymuck Day 4
Explosive Post
PG-13/R for language, 700 words
Summary: Sirius is in France for the Easter holidays in Fourth Year, here are 5 letters exchanged between Remus and himself.
Warnings: Sirius, the poor, highly-strung dear, tends to let punctuation and coherence slide. I apologise for him, as he will never learn. Abuse of capitals and sporadic underlining forthwith.
Remus,
Bonjour! Well, here I am in gai Paris, sitting on a bench in this massive park called La Jardin du Luxembourg – très jolie, the flowers are in bloom, and if there weren’t Muggles everywhere I’d be tempted to set the fountains to singing! I am completely devoid of family – result! Supposedly I am with my French tutor, a Monsieur Lestrange, but as my linguistic skills are of course unparalleled (although I think it’s more that he can’t be arsed) we have come to an arrangement whereby he teaches me for half the time, I bugger off, then return to be collected by dearest mama.
This gives me time to go outside Wizarding Paris (which is full of fussy wizards with stupid moustaches) – Muggle Paris is much better, there are mopeds everywhere and generally far more excitement to be had.
Must be going, so enough of my nonsense. How are you, old chap? Missing me like mad, I trust – but try not to pine too desperately. Wish you lot could just Apparate over here – damn our tender years!
Au revoir!
Sirius.
Sirius,
Terribly sorry for not replying to you sooner – James has been staying with me this week, as you’ve probably forgotten, and I’ve only just now had a moment to myself. M. Potter (if we’re going to continue the French theme) has ‘disparu’ – which I’m sure has nothing at all to do with the intelligence we received from Peter that we were not the only Hogwarts family to visit Brighton today, and in fact a certain Lily Evans is here this very afternoon.
No, no, that couldn’t be it. Because, let us remember, ever since that devastating incident with Marlene McKinnon last year he has sworn off girls, because all of the Hogwarts female population are ‘empty-headed idiots’. So, no, James can’t have been captured by the Siren call of a pretty pair of green eyes. That would be madness.
Ah, you have to love young romance, don’t you? Just a hunch, but I reckon this could prove a welcome distraction from exams next term – you heard it here first!
I must flee and explain to my parents exactly why James won’t be joining us for lunch. Farewell, good Padfoot, and take care.
Remus.
R
ARGH I ONLY JUST GOT YOUR OWL, SO I MAY BE TOO LATE!
I LEAVE YOU FOR TWO WEEKS - TWO WEEKS and this is what happens?? (I can’t keep this capitals thing up – you’re lucky I didn’t send a Howler!)
What happened to our brotherhood? James has no business abandoning you for a girl! And Evans – EVANS! She is the most I don’t even know what, but James can’t go out with her, it’d be a disaster! It’d be the Apocalypse, that’s what it’d be!
And what are you doing calling her eyes pretty, hmm? Has the whole world gone insane? Next thing you know, Pete will have got a girlfriend AND THEN WHAT WILL WE DO.
I’d get a broom and fly over right now and sort it out except my mother is staring at me like I’ve turned purple (which I might have done!) and demanding to know who I’m writing to and I just say Lucius Malfoy because it’s the first name that came to me that she wouldn’t immediately disapprove of except now she’s asking me all sorts of questions and I can’t concentrate on two things at once and DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO ME? No, Mother, not - Bugger.
YOU HAVE NOT HEARD THE LAST OF THIS.
Dear Sirius,
Do you not think you might be overreacting a little bit? And I don’t think Evans’ eyes are pretty. Well, I mean – they’ve very nice, it was an analytical statement, alright?
Anyway, she punched him in the face. Think his pride took more of a beating, though. So that’s that.
You really are an idiot sometimes.
Remus.
Oh! Oh. Well, that’s ok then.
S
Glossary: (most pretty self-explanatory, but just in case)
Bonjour - hello, très jolie - very pretty, Monsieur (abbrv. = M.) - Mr, au revoir - goodbye, disparu - disappeared
PG-13/R for language, 700 words
Summary: Sirius is in France for the Easter holidays in Fourth Year, here are 5 letters exchanged between Remus and himself.
Warnings: Sirius, the poor, highly-strung dear, tends to let punctuation and coherence slide. I apologise for him, as he will never learn. Abuse of capitals and sporadic underlining forthwith.
April 4th, 1975
10 o’clock
10 o’clock
Remus,
Bonjour! Well, here I am in gai Paris, sitting on a bench in this massive park called La Jardin du Luxembourg – très jolie, the flowers are in bloom, and if there weren’t Muggles everywhere I’d be tempted to set the fountains to singing! I am completely devoid of family – result! Supposedly I am with my French tutor, a Monsieur Lestrange, but as my linguistic skills are of course unparalleled (although I think it’s more that he can’t be arsed) we have come to an arrangement whereby he teaches me for half the time, I bugger off, then return to be collected by dearest mama.
This gives me time to go outside Wizarding Paris (which is full of fussy wizards with stupid moustaches) – Muggle Paris is much better, there are mopeds everywhere and generally far more excitement to be had.
Must be going, so enough of my nonsense. How are you, old chap? Missing me like mad, I trust – but try not to pine too desperately. Wish you lot could just Apparate over here – damn our tender years!
Au revoir!
Sirius.
April 4th, 1975
12.30
12.30
Sirius,
Terribly sorry for not replying to you sooner – James has been staying with me this week, as you’ve probably forgotten, and I’ve only just now had a moment to myself. M. Potter (if we’re going to continue the French theme) has ‘disparu’ – which I’m sure has nothing at all to do with the intelligence we received from Peter that we were not the only Hogwarts family to visit Brighton today, and in fact a certain Lily Evans is here this very afternoon.
No, no, that couldn’t be it. Because, let us remember, ever since that devastating incident with Marlene McKinnon last year he has sworn off girls, because all of the Hogwarts female population are ‘empty-headed idiots’. So, no, James can’t have been captured by the Siren call of a pretty pair of green eyes. That would be madness.
Ah, you have to love young romance, don’t you? Just a hunch, but I reckon this could prove a welcome distraction from exams next term – you heard it here first!
I must flee and explain to my parents exactly why James won’t be joining us for lunch. Farewell, good Padfoot, and take care.
Remus.
6 o’clock
R
ARGH I ONLY JUST GOT YOUR OWL, SO I MAY BE TOO LATE!
I LEAVE YOU FOR TWO WEEKS - TWO WEEKS and this is what happens?? (I can’t keep this capitals thing up – you’re lucky I didn’t send a Howler!)
What happened to our brotherhood? James has no business abandoning you for a girl! And Evans – EVANS! She is the most I don’t even know what, but James can’t go out with her, it’d be a disaster! It’d be the Apocalypse, that’s what it’d be!
And what are you doing calling her eyes pretty, hmm? Has the whole world gone insane? Next thing you know, Pete will have got a girlfriend AND THEN WHAT WILL WE DO.
I’d get a broom and fly over right now and sort it out except my mother is staring at me like I’ve turned purple (which I might have done!) and demanding to know who I’m writing to and I just say Lucius Malfoy because it’s the first name that came to me that she wouldn’t immediately disapprove of except now she’s asking me all sorts of questions and I can’t concentrate on two things at once and DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO ME? No, Mother, not - Bugger.
YOU HAVE NOT HEARD THE LAST OF THIS.
6.25
Dear Sirius,
Do you not think you might be overreacting a little bit? And I don’t think Evans’ eyes are pretty. Well, I mean – they’ve very nice, it was an analytical statement, alright?
Anyway, she punched him in the face. Think his pride took more of a beating, though. So that’s that.
You really are an idiot sometimes.
Remus.
6.33
Oh! Oh. Well, that’s ok then.
S
Glossary: (most pretty self-explanatory, but just in case)
Bonjour - hello, très jolie - very pretty, Monsieur (abbrv. = M.) - Mr, au revoir - goodbye, disparu - disappeared