And a little bit from part two, cutting out all the angst in between XD:
Charles feels Erik before he hears or sees him, his low-level awareness of Erik's mind noting the deviation in Erik's usual routine. He doesn't think much of the fact that Erik's left work early until he realizes Erik's getting progressively closer. He tries not to hope, right up until the moment he hears the jingle bells on the front door.
"Charles?" Erik calls into the daycare, and the smile on Charles' face is automatic, reflexive, unstoppable.
"I'm in here," he says, and Erik glances around the empty playroom before walking over to him. "Moira's out back with Jean and Scott," Charles says. "Katherine called and said she'd be a few minutes late."
"Okay," Erik says. He looks at Charles consideringly for a moment, and before Charles can ask him what's wrong, Erik's hugging him.
But "hug" seems like too simple a word to describe the action, really. He has his arms wrapped around Charles so tightly that Charles wants to crawl inside of him. He's literally lifting Charles off of the ground, and Charles has never noticed how tall Erik is before, not really. Not like he does now, with Erik holding him like he never wants to let go, Charles' toes dangling above the carpet.
Charles hugs him back, of course. He has to, to a lesser extent to keep from falling, but mostly because the affection pouring off of Erik is nearly overwhelming and Charles has been so very starved for this kind of affection today. He holds onto Erik, his own arms desperately tight, his face buried in the crook of Erik's neck. He wraps his legs around Erik's hips to keep them from dangling uselessly and to crawl even closer, as close as he can.
He's never been hugged like this before. He never wants to be hugged any other way.
"Hey," Erik says. "Hi."
"Hi," Charles says. Erik's nose presses against his cheek.
"I just thought--that was nice, last night. But it's not fair to you. It's not fair that you don't get to feel it. You should. I wish you could. I wish it went both ways." He starts and stops as he speaks, not quite comfortable expressing himself, not quite sure what to say. It resonates deep in Charles' chest, every word, every stutter.
He swallows hard against the sudden urge to tell Erik he loves him. He does. He knows he shouldn't, knows it's only been a few weeks, knows he should be more cautious with his heart, but he can't help how he feels. He's been inside Erik's mind and he knows the feelings wouldn't be unwelcome, knows that Erik is slowly unraveling the same feelings, pulling them apart and examining them and deciphering what they mean. But he also knows that it's been a long time since Erik has loved anyone else and he absolutely cannot scare Erik away. He can't even risk it, because he doesn't think he could stand it if Erik left.
He swallows the words and he says, "Thank you," instead. "I needed this today. No one's ever--well, of course no one's ever said that before, I've never quite done that to anyone else before."
"Good," Erik says. That means it's ours, he thinks, but it's an absent thought to himself, not something he meant to share, and Charles holds himself back from saying, Yes, yes, ours, it's ours and it will only ever be ours.
He's only been seeing Erik a month. He's just shy of twenty-four. It would be foolish to make such far-reaching declarations now. I never want to be with anyone else will come back to haunt him if Erik ever decides that Charles isn't enough after all.
"Um," Erik says after another moment, "it's not that you're heavy, exactly, but--"
Charles laughs against the side of Erik's throat and takes a deep breath, inhaling the scent of Erik's sweat and soap and skin. He unwraps himself from Erik slowly until his feet are back on the ground. Erik steps away just enough to lean over and kiss Charles, the movement casual and familiar and a little bit thrilling because of it. He likes "familiar." It's been a long time since someone was that familiar to Charles.
"I thought I'd come home with you," Erik says. "I thought--I mean, unless you had plans. I know it's Wednesday, but I said it last night and I don't know if you were asleep...." Erik trails off and shrugs and when Charles steps back into his space, his arms come up around him easily.
"Please do," Charles says. "I don't have plans. It would be nice if you were there."
no subject
Charles feels Erik before he hears or sees him, his low-level awareness of Erik's mind noting the deviation in Erik's usual routine. He doesn't think much of the fact that Erik's left work early until he realizes Erik's getting progressively closer. He tries not to hope, right up until the moment he hears the jingle bells on the front door.
"Charles?" Erik calls into the daycare, and the smile on Charles' face is automatic, reflexive, unstoppable.
"I'm in here," he says, and Erik glances around the empty playroom before walking over to him. "Moira's out back with Jean and Scott," Charles says. "Katherine called and said she'd be a few minutes late."
"Okay," Erik says. He looks at Charles consideringly for a moment, and before Charles can ask him what's wrong, Erik's hugging him.
But "hug" seems like too simple a word to describe the action, really. He has his arms wrapped around Charles so tightly that Charles wants to crawl inside of him. He's literally lifting Charles off of the ground, and Charles has never noticed how tall Erik is before, not really. Not like he does now, with Erik holding him like he never wants to let go, Charles' toes dangling above the carpet.
Charles hugs him back, of course. He has to, to a lesser extent to keep from falling, but mostly because the affection pouring off of Erik is nearly overwhelming and Charles has been so very starved for this kind of affection today. He holds onto Erik, his own arms desperately tight, his face buried in the crook of Erik's neck. He wraps his legs around Erik's hips to keep them from dangling uselessly and to crawl even closer, as close as he can.
He's never been hugged like this before. He never wants to be hugged any other way.
"Hey," Erik says. "Hi."
"Hi," Charles says. Erik's nose presses against his cheek.
"I just thought--that was nice, last night. But it's not fair to you. It's not fair that you don't get to feel it. You should. I wish you could. I wish it went both ways." He starts and stops as he speaks, not quite comfortable expressing himself, not quite sure what to say. It resonates deep in Charles' chest, every word, every stutter.
He swallows hard against the sudden urge to tell Erik he loves him. He does. He knows he shouldn't, knows it's only been a few weeks, knows he should be more cautious with his heart, but he can't help how he feels. He's been inside Erik's mind and he knows the feelings wouldn't be unwelcome, knows that Erik is slowly unraveling the same feelings, pulling them apart and examining them and deciphering what they mean. But he also knows that it's been a long time since Erik has loved anyone else and he absolutely cannot scare Erik away. He can't even risk it, because he doesn't think he could stand it if Erik left.
He swallows the words and he says, "Thank you," instead. "I needed this today. No one's ever--well, of course no one's ever said that before, I've never quite done that to anyone else before."
"Good," Erik says. That means it's ours, he thinks, but it's an absent thought to himself, not something he meant to share, and Charles holds himself back from saying, Yes, yes, ours, it's ours and it will only ever be ours.
He's only been seeing Erik a month. He's just shy of twenty-four. It would be foolish to make such far-reaching declarations now. I never want to be with anyone else will come back to haunt him if Erik ever decides that Charles isn't enough after all.
"Um," Erik says after another moment, "it's not that you're heavy, exactly, but--"
Charles laughs against the side of Erik's throat and takes a deep breath, inhaling the scent of Erik's sweat and soap and skin. He unwraps himself from Erik slowly until his feet are back on the ground. Erik steps away just enough to lean over and kiss Charles, the movement casual and familiar and a little bit thrilling because of it. He likes "familiar." It's been a long time since someone was that familiar to Charles.
"I thought I'd come home with you," Erik says. "I thought--I mean, unless you had plans. I know it's Wednesday, but I said it last night and I don't know if you were asleep...." Erik trails off and shrugs and when Charles steps back into his space, his arms come up around him easily.
"Please do," Charles says. "I don't have plans. It would be nice if you were there."