such_heights: amy and rory looking at a pile of post (m: gwen/morgana [comfort])
Amy ([personal profile] such_heights) wrote2009-09-20 05:09 pm

FIC: How We've Grown [Merlin, Gwen/Morgana, 2x01 missing scene]

How We've Grown
Merlin ; Gwen/Morgana ; PG ; 750 words ; missing scene for 2x01 ; spoilers
They'd sat like this often when they were younger and Gwen had first taken up the position.

written for [ profile] krazykipper at the Fall Fandom Free-For-All

Morgana watched Gaius leave the room and wrapped her arms around her knees, feeling miserable and scared and useless. She'd thought this had been over, really over, that she could go back to normal again and stop being plagued by these visions of terrible days to come. She mopped at her eyes, furious at herself for falling apart like this.

"It was just a dream," she muttered, "just a stupid dream."

She knew in her bones that it wasn't.

"Morgana?" Gwen hovered at the doorway. "Has Gaius been to see you?"

Morgana nodded tightly. "He said he would get me something stronger."

"Oh," said Gwen. She made no further comment but started to open the windows and let air into the room.

"I said you should probably just knock me over the head and be done with it," Morgana continued.

Gwen shook her head, laughing slightly. "There's no need for that."

"But --" Morgana started. "Gwen, I'm so sorry, you must be so sick of this."

"Sick of what, my job?" Gwen asked incredulously.

"It's not part of your job to cater to my hysterics," Morgana murmured.

"It's my job to look after you."

"It's not fair," said Morgana, "I shouldn't drag you into all of my nonsense."

"Morgana." Gwen sat down on the edge of the bed. "I want to help you, that's what I'm here for. I couldn't bear to think of you waking up afraid and all by yourself. If --" Gwen hesitated. "If it bothers you, if you think I do it out of duty or obligation, then let me be with you as -- as a friend." She bit her lip. "If you'll forgive me speaking out of turn."

Morgana reached out to take Gwen's hand, horrified at the way she looked so anxious, as if she doubted her place here. "You're dearer to me than anyone else in this godforsaken castle, surely you know that."

Morgana felt as though she'd made this very clear a hundred times over, but Gwen's expression was so surprised and pleased that Morgana thought she wouldn't ever get tired of telling her so anyway.

She leaned back against the headrest with a sigh. "I really thought my nightmares had stopped, you know."

Gwen nodded. "I'm sorry." She looked at Morgana a little quizzically.

"What is it?"

"No, sorry, nothing, I --"

"Gwen," Morgana cut in. She patted the bed next to her. "Sit, tell me what's on your mind." She looked at Gwen as fiercely as she could until a bright little smile crept over Gwen's face as she swung her legs up onto the bed, wriggling in next to Morgana until their legs were touching.

They'd sat like this often when they were younger and Gwen had first taken up the position. Morgana hadn't known what to do with a handmaiden when all she wanted was a friend and playmate. Uther had never paid them too much mind either way. Then Gwen had found herself growing up and decided that she should be much more proper about her duties. She'd drawn away from Morgana then, just a little, and Morgana had lost count of the number of times she had wanted to tell Gwen that to hell with formality, it didn't have to be like that. She never had, though. After all, Morgana had to play her part too.

"About your dreams," said Gwen. "It's just that -- have you ever thought that maybe you have these dreams for a reason? I know how awful they are for you, but you see things that haven't happened yet. That's . . . huge. Maybe you're meant to do something with that power."

Morgana let out a short laugh. "I'm sure that would go down wonderfully with Uther. You know no one listens to me, so if they're not doing anyone any good, I'd gladly trade them so I could just sleep." She couldn't help the longing in her voice.

"I know, I know," said Gwen softly. "I'm sorry. It'll be different one day."

Gwen reached out and laced her fingers with Morgana's, her palm warm and comforting. Morgana breathed deeply and rested her head on Gwen's shoulder. She thought that if only she could stay like this for long enough she would have happy dreams for a lifetime.

Gwen pressed a kiss into her hair, soft and sweet. Morgana squeezed her hand a little tighter.

"We'll find a way to make this better," Gwen said. "And you don't ever have to apologise, not to me."