(no subject)

[such_heights]

+ iamshadow wrote fic: Children of Time, River-centric gen. (Doctor Who)

+ bells on Parker. (Leverage)

+ dreamwriteremmy on Mina Hakuba. (Castlevania)

+ redsnake05 on Toshiko Sato. (Torchwood)

---

synecdochic wrote the ghost in the room, or, why modesty is a dirty fucking word. Well worth reading.

The rules of 'modesty' -- overwhelmingly enforced against women -- say that you aren't supposed to take credit for your achievements, no matter what those achivements are. That you aren't supposed to admit that you worked hard on something. That you aren't supposed to admit that you did something worthy of praise. This is, most often, made manifest by demurral: since you can't admit these things, therefore, the thing you are being complimented on must not have been an achievement, or required hard work, or been worthy of praise.

Expanding on what I posted in this week's pride thread: life's been throwing curveballs at me for a while now. I'm proud of the fact I'm getting on with things anyway, but in some ways I'm more proud of my growing ability to cut myself some slack. I'm learning to put my health before everything else, even my degree, and I think that's an achievement worth being proud of and working to cultivate further.

A lot of the culture I'm surrounded by places so much emphasis on driving yourself past your own limits in order to exceed - be better, faster, stronger, no matter what cost will be taken from you in return. I slowly, but firmly, reject this notion. Part of striving to be the best person I can be is being as well as I can be, and part of that is taking time, taking care, taking rest, and allowing myself to feel and react and process my life before moving onto the next thing.

Comments

[thingswithwings]

yes, yes, yes. So much yes. Those are definitely things to be proud of - hell, shifting your view of the world in order to put yourself first? In a culture that, right, values modesty? That is a huge accomplishment. Your last two paragraphs there made me nod along emphatically. :)

PS, I'm so happy you're managing to look after yourself and cut yourself some slack. <3

[miss_haitch]

Part of striving to be the best person I can be is being as well as I can be, and part of that is taking time, taking care, taking rest, and allowing myself to feel and react and process my life before moving onto the next thing.

This, yes. Most definitely. Thank you for the synecdochic links -- I hadn't seen the pride thread before, but it's brilliant.

[emei]

Thanks for the links. The post on modesty was a thought-provoking and well-needed read for me.

And learning to cut yourself some slack really is a fantastic achievement.

[gorgeousnerd]

I'm learning to put my health before everything else, even my degree, and I think that's an achievement worth being proud of and working to cultivate further.

Absolutely. The culture I'm surrounded by also places more emphasis on accomplishment and drive than health and well-being, so my own personal experiences of late have shown me what an achievement making health a top priority is. So congrats, and good luck with this in the future.

(Also, synecdochic's post? Wow. Thanks for the link.)

[fallingtowers]

A lot of the culture I'm surrounded by places so much emphasis on driving yourself past your own limits in order to exceed - be better, faster, stronger, no matter what cost will be taken from you in return. I slowly, but firmly, reject this notion.

Good for you, and I mean this in complete seriousness. Some people just have a bit lower energy levels than others, especially when chronic illnesses and mental health issues are part of the equation. Doing a decent job while taking care of yourself is then the best thing to do, even if the workaholics might label you as an "underachiever". (I'm more like, "dude, I don't want to end up in the burn-out clinic in my late 30s or go karoshi when I'm 45.")