such_heights: amy, the doctor and rory hugging at the end of 609 (who: amy/eleven/rory [group hug])
Amy ([personal profile] such_heights) wrote2012-09-13 10:35 pm

FIC: Don't Let Me Go (Doctor Who, coda to 7x02)

Don't Let Me Go
Doctor Who ; Amy, Eleven & Rory ; PG ; 1200 words ; 7x02 coda ; Also at the AO3
It's hard to avoid the truth, not when he's looking at her like this, careful and still.

contains: discussion of PTSD

Amy stares out into space, and down below at the Earth. She hopes she never gets tired of just how beautiful the view is out here. Brian whistles to himself, his legs dangling down from the TARDIS doorframe. Next to her, Rory is enthralled, like he's seeing all of this for the first time again, the earthlight bright on his face. She holds his hand, and remembers that first night in the TARDIS, floating and surrounded by stars.

That was a very long time ago.

She looks behind her, and sees the Doctor further inside, looking at a screen and trying to appear busy. She squeezes Rory's hand and steps away, skipping up the steps and bumping her shoulder against the Doctor's when she reaches him.

"Hey, you," she says, leaning against the console.

The Doctor drops his pretence and spins to lean beside her. "Hey, you."

She smiles at him. "You know, you could just come round for tea sometime - you don't have to come up with a mad adventure with dinosaurs and Egyptian queens just to see us."

"More fun this way, though." He grins.

"Oh, no complaints from me. Though really, it wouldn't kill you to give us a ring first next time, or you'll end up with our entire families along with the ride." She shudders slightly, imagining Aunt Sharon's horror at more or less everything to do with time and space.

"Seems to have worked out all right for those two," the Doctor says, nodding at Rory and Brian, who are now sitting next to each other, talking quietly.

"Who'd have thought?" Amy smiles. "If I knew that all they needed to bond were dinosaurs, I would have dragged them to the Natural History Museum a long time ago."

"Mm." The Doctor folds his arm and looks at her steadily. "How are you, Amy?"

"Oh, I'm --" the glib answer dies away before she can say it. It's hard to avoid the truth, not when he's looking at her like this, careful and still.

"I'm okay," she says seriously. "I'm a lot better than I was last time I saw you, anyway." She makes a face, remembering.

The Doctor frowns, turning to face her properly. The full force of his attention makes her fidget, unnerved, and she's tempted to shake this whole conversation off and go and join the others in the doorway, but she doesn't.

"I still don't understand. You and Rory - what could possibly have happened?" he asks.

Amy stares at him. "You know what happened. You were there! Demon's Run happened." She starts tugging at her sleeves, tangling her fingers into the soft fabric of her jumper. She wonders if this will ever be any easier to talk about. Probably not. "They didn't just take Melody away from me. They took away all the children I might have had. We tried so many things, but I can't. Not ever."

She watches the Doctor's face twist in sadness and guilt, and she can't bear to see it. She doesn't want his pity and she can't carry all of his regrets along with her own. She looks away, staring through the glass floor and losing herself in the light of the TARDIS.

"When I found that out, I -- I went to a bad place for a while. Flashbacks, nightmares, all of that. Started seeing Kovarian's face all the time, and every little girl looked like Melody. Felt like it was never going to get any better. So I pushed Rory away - thought he deserved something more than me and all my damage."

"Amy," the Doctor says quietly, sounding horrified.

"I know, I know." She forces herself to look at him and smile. "I know how that sounds. Like I said, bad place. Thank god for the Daleks, eh?" She laughs. "Never thought I’d say that."

"And now?" he asks, reaching out to hold her hand.

"Now, we're doing better. I'm doing better. Spent a lot of time talking about my feelings, and you know how I hate that, but it's okay. You told me once, about the piles of good and bad things. My pile of bad things will always be with me, but the good things help. It gets easier. Besides, look how amazing our eldest daughter is. I reckon maybe the universe wasn't ready to cope with more."

He laughs at that, then slings an arm around her shoulder and pulls her close.

"I'm so sorry," he says.

"I know you are. It's okay. I'm okay. Honest."

"Oh, Amy, you're more than okay. You're amazing."

He kisses her temple, and she smiles. She's missed him more than she cares to admit. She slips her arm around him and they lean against each other, swaying slightly as the TARDIS continues to orbit the Earth.

She lets out a long breath, the restlessness in her fading away again as the Doctor's questions cease. She's glad that he knows, even if it was hard to say.

"Rory!" she calls out. "You're missing out on some hug action here!"

Rory whips his head round, grins, and pats his dad's shoulder before walking over to join them.

"Actually --" Amy's eyes light up as he gets nearer. "That reminds me. Doctor, did you really think I wasn't going to notice you planting one on my husband right in front of the viewscreen? Should I be jealous?" she teases.

"Jealous?!" the Doctor splutters. "What? No. That was an entirely platonic gesture of spontaneous affection."

"Really," says Rory, folding his arms and eyeing the Doctor suspiciously. "Is that what you tell all the boys? You heartbreaker."

"All the what? No, no, there's no 'all the' anything." He adjusts his bowtie, looking affronted. "I'm married, I'll have you know."

Amy grins. "Bingo, correct answer. But, just so you know, should you ever feel the need to perform another spontaneous gesture of affection in the future, do give me a heads up so I can really savour the moment."

"Amy!" Rory gives her a scandalised look that quickly dissolves into amusement.

Amy sticks her tongue out at him.

"Oh, Ponds. I've missed you terribly." The Doctor wraps his arms around them both and hauls them in, and the three of them nestle together, their arms around each other in a small, happy pile.

"Yep, this is good," says Amy. "Got my spaceship and my boys."

"Yeah," says Rory, smiling as his forehead touches hers. "This is good."

The Doctor rubs circles across both of their backs, a small, relieved hitch in his breathing that Amy suspects she's not supposed to notice.

"You really should come and see us more than once a year," says Rory. "It is an open invitation."

"We miss you too, you know," says Amy.

"I'll try," says the Doctor.

Amy's glad he's grown out of the habit of making promises he won't keep. She closes her eyes, losing herself in the feeling of being enveloped by warmth and love. She really is okay, but right now, she's more than that. She's happy, full of a bone-deep contentment that she hasn't felt too often, these last few years. Her throat tightens with a twisting mix of emotions she can't put a name to, so she holds on a little tighter, and they hold her right back.
ignipes: (Default)

[personal profile] ignipes 2012-09-13 09:42 pm (UTC)(link)

Right there after the episode. This happened. Nobody will ever convince me otherwise! It's too perfect and they are perfect and you are wonderful and ♥ ♥ ♥!
ladymercury_10: (Amy Rory Whatever)

[personal profile] ladymercury_10 2012-09-13 09:46 pm (UTC)(link)
Awwww, that was really, really sweet. Ponds, I miss you already!
rhivolution: Arthur Darvill in a wood panelled room, looking upwards thoughtfully (dreaming in colour: Arthur Darvill/Rory)

[personal profile] rhivolution 2012-09-13 09:55 pm (UTC)(link)
HUG ACTION. And yay for an Amy who's working on her issues.
pocketmouse: Amy, the Doctor and Rory in front of the TARDIS. Labeled 'OT3.' (ot3)

[personal profile] pocketmouse 2012-09-13 10:28 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, Ponds...
juniperphoenix: Amy floats in space, anchored by the Doctor (DW: the wonder of it all (baby))

[personal profile] juniperphoenix 2012-09-13 10:48 pm (UTC)(link)
This is utterly fantastic.
glinda: Amy Pond with Rory and the 11th Doctor - text Amy & her boys (amy & her boys)

[personal profile] glinda 2012-09-13 10:50 pm (UTC)(link)
♥ ♥ ♥ I have all the FEELINGS right now. *verklempt*
kass: Amy, Rory, Eleven. (trio)

[personal profile] kass 2012-09-13 11:21 pm (UTC)(link)

This is exactly what I needed. Exactly. The beauty of seeing Earth from this vantage -- how his dad seeing it means Rory's seeing it anew, too -- the earthlight -- Amy telling the Doctor what went wrong -- and God, that feels so real; that's exactly what it needed to be -- and the banter, and the hug, and the love. <3 <3 <3
lovelythings: a photo of a red car by a lake and some people having a picnic (a TARDIS awash with Ponds)

[personal profile] lovelythings 2012-09-14 01:53 am (UTC)(link)

apple_pathways: (Doctor Who: Don't Panic)

[personal profile] apple_pathways 2012-09-14 04:05 am (UTC)(link)
Aww, very Ponds! A good explanation for why they split up, too. All the Pond love. ♥
queenfanfiction: (Who 11/AP/RW married)

[personal profile] queenfanfiction 2012-09-14 07:10 am (UTC)(link)
PONDS! <3 (The world is totally not ready for all the shiny awesomeness of another Pond kidlet. River is more than enough for it for a looooong while. lol.)
silverhare: drawing of a grey hare (dw - doctor/river [backsexflirting])

[personal profile] silverhare 2012-09-14 07:51 am (UTC)(link)
Yes, this was lovely. ♥ Ponds.
copracat: close up of rory and amy in a heart from rory's buck's night sweatshirts (rory and amy <3)

[personal profile] copracat 2012-09-14 11:47 am (UTC)(link)
"Oh, Ponds. I've missed you terribly."

Me toooooo.
watersword: Keira Knightley, in Pride and Prejudice (2007), turning her head away from the viewer, the word "elizabeth" written near (Default)

[personal profile] watersword 2012-09-14 03:49 pm (UTC)(link)
ext_29272: (Default)

[identity profile] 2012-09-14 03:55 pm (UTC)(link)
<3<3<3 *** All in my eyes now!
out_there: B-Day Present '05 (Default)

[personal profile] out_there 2012-09-16 12:56 pm (UTC)(link)
This is lovely adn sweet and so in-character.

"Really," says Rory, folding his arms and eyeing the Doctor suspiciously. "Is that what you tell all the boys? You heartbreaker."

Oh, Rory! This level of awesome humour is why I adore you!
secondsilk: Scott from Strictly Ballroom, caught at the end of the turn, arms raised. (Default)

[personal profile] secondsilk 2012-09-16 10:13 pm (UTC)(link)
♥ everyone!
And hugs, yay.
lokifan: black Converse against a black background (Default)

[personal profile] lokifan 2012-09-23 08:01 pm (UTC)(link)
Ugh, Ponds. Why do you do this to me?

♥ ♥ ♥

I love your explanation for the Amy/Rory thing.