such_heights: amy and rory looking at a pile of post (m: gwen/morgana [comfort])
Amy ([personal profile] such_heights) wrote2009-09-20 05:09 pm

FIC: How We've Grown [Merlin, Gwen/Morgana, 2x01 missing scene]

How We've Grown
Merlin ; Gwen/Morgana ; PG ; 750 words ; missing scene for 2x01 ; spoilers
They'd sat like this often when they were younger and Gwen had first taken up the position.

written for [livejournal.com profile] krazykipper at the Fall Fandom Free-For-All



Morgana watched Gaius leave the room and wrapped her arms around her knees, feeling miserable and scared and useless. She'd thought this had been over, really over, that she could go back to normal again and stop being plagued by these visions of terrible days to come. She mopped at her eyes, furious at herself for falling apart like this.

"It was just a dream," she muttered, "just a stupid dream."

She knew in her bones that it wasn't.

"Morgana?" Gwen hovered at the doorway. "Has Gaius been to see you?"

Morgana nodded tightly. "He said he would get me something stronger."

"Oh," said Gwen. She made no further comment but started to open the windows and let air into the room.

"I said you should probably just knock me over the head and be done with it," Morgana continued.

Gwen shook her head, laughing slightly. "There's no need for that."

"But --" Morgana started. "Gwen, I'm so sorry, you must be so sick of this."

"Sick of what, my job?" Gwen asked incredulously.

"It's not part of your job to cater to my hysterics," Morgana murmured.

"It's my job to look after you."

"It's not fair," said Morgana, "I shouldn't drag you into all of my nonsense."

"Morgana." Gwen sat down on the edge of the bed. "I want to help you, that's what I'm here for. I couldn't bear to think of you waking up afraid and all by yourself. If --" Gwen hesitated. "If it bothers you, if you think I do it out of duty or obligation, then let me be with you as -- as a friend." She bit her lip. "If you'll forgive me speaking out of turn."

Morgana reached out to take Gwen's hand, horrified at the way she looked so anxious, as if she doubted her place here. "You're dearer to me than anyone else in this godforsaken castle, surely you know that."

Morgana felt as though she'd made this very clear a hundred times over, but Gwen's expression was so surprised and pleased that Morgana thought she wouldn't ever get tired of telling her so anyway.

She leaned back against the headrest with a sigh. "I really thought my nightmares had stopped, you know."

Gwen nodded. "I'm sorry." She looked at Morgana a little quizzically.

"What is it?"

"No, sorry, nothing, I --"

"Gwen," Morgana cut in. She patted the bed next to her. "Sit, tell me what's on your mind." She looked at Gwen as fiercely as she could until a bright little smile crept over Gwen's face as she swung her legs up onto the bed, wriggling in next to Morgana until their legs were touching.

They'd sat like this often when they were younger and Gwen had first taken up the position. Morgana hadn't known what to do with a handmaiden when all she wanted was a friend and playmate. Uther had never paid them too much mind either way. Then Gwen had found herself growing up and decided that she should be much more proper about her duties. She'd drawn away from Morgana then, just a little, and Morgana had lost count of the number of times she had wanted to tell Gwen that to hell with formality, it didn't have to be like that. She never had, though. After all, Morgana had to play her part too.

"About your dreams," said Gwen. "It's just that -- have you ever thought that maybe you have these dreams for a reason? I know how awful they are for you, but you see things that haven't happened yet. That's . . . huge. Maybe you're meant to do something with that power."

Morgana let out a short laugh. "I'm sure that would go down wonderfully with Uther. You know no one listens to me, so if they're not doing anyone any good, I'd gladly trade them so I could just sleep." She couldn't help the longing in her voice.

"I know, I know," said Gwen softly. "I'm sorry. It'll be different one day."

Gwen reached out and laced her fingers with Morgana's, her palm warm and comforting. Morgana breathed deeply and rested her head on Gwen's shoulder. She thought that if only she could stay like this for long enough she would have happy dreams for a lifetime.

Gwen pressed a kiss into her hair, soft and sweet. Morgana squeezed her hand a little tighter.

"We'll find a way to make this better," Gwen said. "And you don't ever have to apologise, not to me."

[identity profile] otempora42.livejournal.com 2009-09-20 05:00 pm (UTC)(link)
Aw, this was adorable. :D

[personal profile] brightfame 2009-09-20 05:02 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you! It hurt me so much to hear Morgana say that Gwen probably wanted to give her a blow to the head. As if Gwen would ever weary of comforting her!

Morgana breathed deeply and rested her head on Gwen's shoulder. She thought that if only she could stay like this for long enough she would have happy dreams for a lifetime.

:) And there it is, my happy place.
builtofsorrow: (merlin | i just want some say in-between)

[personal profile] builtofsorrow 2009-09-20 05:02 pm (UTC)(link)
&hearts!

This captures them perfectly. I love the history here, and how they seem to have grown apart as they try to settle into their respective proper roles, but still love each other so fiercely even if they're a bit insecure in the extent to which they think it's reciprocated.
briar_pipe: Guinevere and Morgana leaning toward each other (Gwen & Morgana)

[personal profile] briar_pipe 2009-09-20 06:02 pm (UTC)(link)
Thank you! I needed some comfort after the way Morgana looked in that ep. So sad to think of the two of them drawing apart because they think they have to, but I can definitely hope for better this season.

Beautifully written, as always. ♥
heathershaped: (Merlin: Gwen/Morgana)

[personal profile] heathershaped 2009-09-20 06:54 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, wonderful - this is something I really wanted to see, and it slips so easily into the show. Oh, girls. <3
vicky_v: (Default)

[personal profile] vicky_v 2009-09-20 08:48 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, I love the girls and I love you for writing this. This could fit so well into the series too. The last three paragraphs squeezed at my heart, in a good way, and made me smile.
srin: (Gwen firelight)

[personal profile] srin 2009-09-20 09:22 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh my girls. That's so warm and wonderful, even given what Morgana's going through. I adore these two together always, but especially as you've written them here.
magic_at_mungos: (where were we by radiogaga80)

[personal profile] magic_at_mungos 2009-09-20 09:46 pm (UTC)(link)
That's my girls. *melts*
miarrow: (katie is gorgeous)

[personal profile] miarrow 2009-09-20 10:36 pm (UTC)(link)
I NEEDED THIS. THANK YOU.
gorgeousnerd: A cartoon Batman from "Batman and Sons" holding his baby Terry, smiling and whistling. (Batman.)

[personal profile] gorgeousnerd 2009-09-20 10:53 pm (UTC)(link)
Aw, how lovely. This is why I love fic; it's exactly the sort of scene that I wanted in the episode (although the hugging was very satisfying).
oltha_heri: (flowers in the window.)

[personal profile] oltha_heri 2009-09-21 01:09 am (UTC)(link)
Oh god, they're so cute. I could actually see this fitting into the show if it was less about the boys ('cause obviously they either don't care or have no sense about slashy overtones).
nekare: (Default)

[personal profile] nekare 2009-09-21 01:36 am (UTC)(link)
Oh, that was just adorable, and so them. And I love the idea of them being giggly girls together, until Gwen decided to grown up. :D
lotesse: (sad!Gwen)

[personal profile] lotesse 2009-09-21 04:06 am (UTC)(link)
*purrs happily* this is wonderful - I only wish it'd been canon!
lorannah: (merlin - adorkable)

[personal profile] lorannah 2009-09-21 10:08 am (UTC)(link)
Oh. That was just wonderful. And completely why I love the two of them so much and the show (and, you know, greater mythology) is making me all apprehensive about what will happen to them both.

But this is so sweet and melancholy and beautiful... :D It makes me happy.
ext_29272: (Default)

[identity profile] sunnyrea.livejournal.com 2009-09-21 01:43 pm (UTC)(link)
Sweet and lovely, nice to see some fic about Morgana's dreams before she's really sure of her power
stellastars: (Default)

[personal profile] stellastars 2009-09-21 11:38 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh, this is a wonderful scene; definitely something that should have been in the episode. I particularly liked this line Morgana hadn't known what to do with a handmaiden when all she wanted was a friend and playmate. -- it's very sweet and rings true about the two of them.
fish_echo: text: audiofic archive volunteer (Podfic-Audiofic Archive volunteer)

[personal profile] fish_echo 2012-04-06 02:33 am (UTC)(link)
http://audiofic.jinjurly.com/how-weve-grown :D

(I have the reply to author/reader link coming here, let me know if you'd prefer it to go elsewhere.)